Sunset
by Deedeekinz
Summary: "A few weeks ago the Whitebeard Pirates had lost the war, while I.. I lost my father and the man I love both in one day and with that I have lost my will to live." This is a story about my OC Rosa's struggle to go on after Whitebeard's and Ace's death. I have yet to decide if I will continue it for a bit longer or not.


One step… that's all it would take for it all to end.

One step and the pain would all be gone away

So would my life…

Was it worth it?

Did I even know what I was thinking?

The answer to that would be simple, I didn't know what I was thinking cause I wasn't even thinking, all I knew was that my heart ached and it felt like there was a hole in my chest and I wanted the pain to stop… hole… chest… how ridiculous it sounded to phrase it like that… the thought sent flashbacks running through my head again and my legs began to shake, I wasn't the one with a hole in my chest afterall, not literally atleast, the image of my beloved commander pierced haunted me, to see him so weak and bruised and bleeding, to see him cry in his last moment… then I pictured our father, standing as tall and strong as ever, except he didn't move… 267 sword wounds, 152 gunshot wounds and 46 wounds from cannonballs, that was what the newspapers wrote, was it supposed to make me smile? To make me proud of how strong he was cause it didn't matter, they were both gone now… one step... one step and it would all end were the words I repeated in my head as I stood on the edge of the front of our whale shaped ship.

I was a devil fruit user after all, wielder of the kaze kaze no mi fruit and the thing about devil fruit users was that they couldn't swim, which meant one step… one step into the ocean was all it would take to drown my sorrows and myself along with them.

The sun was setting in the horizon; just like that afternoon when he'd first kissed me… hues of red, orange and purple lines spread across the vast sky and shimmered onto the crashing waves beneath. I always loved the sunset because it reminded me of fire… which reminded me of him… ever since I'd met him, fire was no longer just an element of nature to me anymore because being around him always felt like playing with fire, he was warm and bright yet intense and dangerous. They didn't call him Fire Fist Ace for nothing after all…

Ace…

Ace…

Ace…

His name echoed in my mind as I clenched my fist over my chest, and fought the urge to sob, because no matter how much I'd screamed in pain, no matter how many nights I woke up shouting, calling his name, it wouldn't bring him back, nothing would ever bring him back, he was gone… and I'd never see him again, I'd never get to touch his freckled face or run my hand through his messy raven locks.

I thought I had reached to a point where I couldn't feel anymore, where I had become numb to the pain, but everything around me was just another reminder of what I'd lost, another trigger that made me want to curl up in a ball and cry and cry and cry till no voice came out of my mouth, till no tears were left to drown.

I took a deep breath and finally took the last step; I didn't want to think anymore, I didn't want to feel anymore… I wanted it to all end.

The free fall seemed to last longer than it was supposed to, and I could see my whole life flash before me:

_All my memories_,

_My childhood, _

_My parents_, their death, if they saw me now what would they think? Their little girl was a pirate; their little girl was taking her own life…

_My aunt, my cousins_, you'd taken me in when I'd lost my parents, raised me like your own… I'm sorry… I know you never approved of my decisions, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you but you won't have to worry about me now…

_My crew_, _my nakama_, brothers and sisters, I hope when you think of me you'd remember me as your lively musician, the girl with the shy smile behind the piano, not the wrecked mess I'd been the past couple of weeks. Our memories together, our bond as a family had always been my most cherished treasure…

_Pops_, I'm sorry I took everything you'd offered me for granted, I'm sorry I couldn't be strong enough to go on like you wished…

_and finally I thought of Ace_, I saw his grinning face in the back of my mind, I recalled our first meeting, I remembered how his arrogance and confidence amused me and drew me towards him, I remembered his warmth and longed for it more than anything else in the world right now, I remembered how he made me feel safe and comfortable, how I fell even deeper for him when I realized he wasn't as strong and confident as he pretends to be, when he finally let his guard down and opened up to me… Roger's son… the son of the devil…. Or so he said he was, but all I could ever see him as was the man I'm in love with, regardless of whose child he was.

I thought it would end any second now when I felt a strong force push me up and before I knew it I was knocked back against the deck, it all happened too fast for me to even realize what was going on, my vision went blurry and I could barely make the outline of what seemed to be a bird caught up in blue flames hover over me, my body was shaking and trembling and my heart beating too quickly as the adrenaline rushed through my veins.

* * *

**"What the hell were you thinking?!"** I heard a voice filled with frustration exclaim, the question was followed by more similar remarks but my mind was too far away to even pay attention to what was going around me.

**"Snap out of it, Rosa!"** the same infuriated voice called my name, bringing me back to reality. I blinked as my surroundings slowly came to focus, some of the crew members were gathered around me and the first division commander Marco was sitting by me, his hands on my shoulders as he shook me out of my haze. I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again as I didn't really have anything to say.

**"Damn it! What were you thinking, yoi?" **he asked but this time his voice was softer, more weary and concerned than angry.

**"I…I…"** I began but paused and looked away, tears forming in my eyes. I was being selfish, making the crew worry about me when they were already as strained by our loss as I was, this was the last thing they needed, but I couldn't hold it in anymore… **"…I just want it to end" **I cried, my voice barely audible, at first his eyes widened then he sighed and placed a comforting hand over my head.

**"You're far too young to be throwing your life away like that" **he said in a half scolding, half sympathetic tone.

**"...I miss them, Marco!"** I sobbed. **"I miss them too much and it hurts"** I said as I clenched my fist over my heart.

**"And you think we don't?"** he snapped back.

**"…I- I'm sorry… I wasn't thinking…"** I said and hoped that they'd let the matter drop with that.

Marco ran a hand through his blonde hair with a troubled look on his face and sighed. **"You can't just do something like that without thinking… we can't afford to lose another member of our family"**

I didn't respond and just turned away, my face flushing with embarrassment and guilt, I wasn't thinking about the rest of the crew, I wasn't thinking about the consequences of my actions.

**"They'd want you to live"** Marco then said, his voice a soft whisper. **"Pops gave his life away so we could live on, after all. You want to disobey your father's last order?" **he asked and I shook my head as I recalled Pops' last words to us, he wanted us to escape marine ford, that was why he stayed behind while giving us an opportunity to get away.

**"…I'm sorry"** I apologized again.

**"Ace would want you to too"** he then said and my eyes widened as my lips quivered.** "And he'd want you to be happy and live with no regrets just like he did, yoi" **Marco continued and flashed me a grin but behind it I could see a lot of buried hurt and agony. I nodded and was about to apologize again but didn't and just forced a smile back at him.

**"Thanks, Marco."**

* * *

******Author's Note**: I actually got tears while writing this, thank you so much for reading, any kind of reviews would be appreciated.

** I'm terrible with titles, also I set the rating as T because I know suicide is quite a sensitive topic for many people. I'd also like to point out that most of my stories take place in the same timeline, the first kiss she speaks of takes place in my other story _"Don't Forget Me", _however, since the one shots don't take place directly after each other and are not exactly directly linked, I find it better to post them separately.**

**Finally I'd like to specially thank Ezaria for her continuous support, you make me want to keep posting my writings here so thanks ^-^**


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